Rey isn’t the only female character in The Force Awakens who’s allowed to feel things besides anger or determination. In this film, we see a new Leia—no longer a princess but a general—who has lived through an endless number of tragedies in her life. Leia is a little softer now than when we last saw her—a little sadder, a little more subdued. She’s still got an edge to her, but it’s an edge that has been believably sanded down by the passage of time and the weight of tragedy.

When Ben turned to the Dark Side, the two people Leia needed the most left her. Luke disappeared, seemingly out of guilt, shame, and heartbreak. And Han went back to his old life of running away from his problems, smuggling and pirating to try to deal with his pain in his own way. But Leia stayed. When the men left because they couldn’t handle staying, this woman stayed. And Carrie Fisher did such an amazing job of showing that Leia carries the weight of being the one who stayed in every moment.

But some of that weight is lifted when Han comes back—you can see it in her interactions with him immediately. Their dynamic was such a beautiful part of this film, glowing with warm affection instead of the heat of the passion they had when they were young, which made it feel profoundly realistic and honest. What’s so special about Leia in this film is that she gets to be a wife and a mother in addition to being a political leader, and equal time is devoted to all those aspects of her life. She’s not a bad general because she wants to embrace her estranged husband in her moment of need. She’s not a weaker leader because she all but collapses when she feels him die through the Force. She’s stronger—because we finally get to see her truly feel every emotion a woman who’s been through what she’s been through would feel: heartbreak and hope and anger and grief and love. And we get to see her continue to fight even when those emotions all but overwhelm her.